Accordance Read online

  “How does it feel? Our first real fight now out of the way?”

  “It sucked.”

  “Yeah,” he agreed with a small chuckle. “But do you feel better? Being able to stand up to me? Not feeling so trapped by our imprint?”

  “I didn’t stand up to you. I ran away.”

  “Yes, but you did it knowing that was exactly what I didn’t want you to do.”

  “I’m sorry-”

  “No, I’m not scolding you, Maggie,” he chuckled. “I’m just saying, I told you it’d get easier didn’t I, to fight? I want you to feel free. Not like you have to please me on everything just because your body rebels if you don’t.”

  “I don’t like it anyway. I don’t ever want to fight, I want to talk. We should be able to talk through anything together. If you had gotten in the Jeep and ran off like that, I wouldn’t have been so worried. I’d have been angry. I’m sorry.”

  “It’s ok. Even though it sucked, I was proud of you too.”

  “What? Why?”

  “Because,” he said. He nuzzled my nose once more and then rolled to be back on his side, facing me. “You felt the pain but fought through it for what you thought was right. I want you to be bound to me, Maggie, don’t misunderstand me on that. I want to feel everything in you and be connected, but I don’t want to control you. It feels sometimes like I’m controlling you, even though it’s really the imprint.”

  “You’re not. I want to be bound to you, too,” I assured, wrapping his shirt front in my fist. “It makes me feel safe. Let’s just forget tonight ever happened. I’m safe, you’re safe. Let’s just go to sleep, ok?”

  “Ok.”

  “I love you, Caleb. You’re really good to me.”

  “I love you.” He kissed me. “You’re the most important thing to me, Visionary or not.” He put his face to mine, noses touching, heads touching. “I love you so much it hurts,” he whispered.

  And I kissed him and he kissed me until we eventually fell asleep.

  When we woke late in the morning, Caleb said he needed to go for a swim so I went into the kitchen. I expected there to be tension and awkwardness in the house but to my surprise, Bish had cooked breakfast and Kyle greeted me with a small sideways hug and a smile.

  “Morning, sunshine. Sleep well?” he asked.

  “Yeah, I did. I’m sorry I kept you guys up so late. Bish, you too. I acted...childish. I’m sorry.”

  “Forgotten already,” Kyle said and grabbed a piece of bacon that Bish had put on a plate to the side.

  Bish growled at him.

  “If you snag one more piece of bacon, I swear...” Bish turned to look at me. “It’s ok, Maggie. I was a little harsh last night, but in my defense I was sleepy. I’m just glad you’re ok.”

  “I’m fine. It was my fault, I take full responsibility. Sorry.”

  “Accepted, now grab a plate and dig in before Kyle eats all yours too.”

  I grabbed a plate of bacon and Bish’s western hash browns. He used to make these for us when he lived at home. Kyle grabbed a piece of bacon from my plate too, putting his finger to his lips to shh me when I started to protest. He grinned, winked and then kissed my cheek before heading out, to go play Halo; his mind said.

  I sat at the table after pouring a glass of milk. Caleb was still swimming laps which I felt good about. He didn’t feel the need to be with me every second which meant he believed I was safe here.

  “So,” Bish sang, coming to sit beside me with his own plate piled high. “What’s on the agenda for today?”

  “No idea. Caleb’s father is gonna be here sometime, probably tonight.”

  “Why?”

  “Because Caleb called him after our fight and he jumped the first plane out,” I answered without thinking.

  “Wait, what?” He looked at me sharply setting his fork down to the table with more force than necessary. “Why would Peter care if you and Caleb had a fight and you ran away? Why does that warrant a visit from your boyfriend’s father?”

  “He’s just a really cautious guy,” I said through my glass as I took a sip.

  Enough of this, it ends now.

  “I’m not buying it, Maggie.” He stood up and banged his fist on the table making me jump in surprise but also a little frightened. He was glaring and leaning over me. “What the hell is going on? Tell me now. I don’t care what it is. Be pregnant, be married, be in a cult, whatever! But you better start giving me some answers that make sense!” he yelled loudly.

  “Maggie!” Caleb called and I heard his footsteps as he ran, feeling my heart rate jump. “Maggie!” When he saw me he sighed and came forward but then saw Bish red faced, angry and towering over me with his fist bunched on the table. He came, his swim trunks and a towel around his neck still, and pulled me from my chair to put behind him. “What are you doing, man?”

  “She’s my sister. I can yell at her if I want to. What are you doing?” He looked from me to him, and then narrowed his eyes. “You think I’d hurt her?”

  “She’s terrified, dude. You tell me.”

  My own sister? Can they see the monster in me?

  “I’m fine,” I said softy and moved in front of Caleb, which he wasn’t too keen about. “Bish, why can’t you just accept that I’m in love with Caleb? Everyone knows it. His family is my family. I’m going to marry him and have little Calebs running around on day.” Caleb’s heart jumped so violently with joy from hearing me say it, I felt it, “You are the only one who hasn’t figured out yet that I don’t need saving. Not from him or his family.” Caleb’s hands went to my waist from behind and he squeezed affectionately. “I’m fine here, Bish. I want you to stop being so worried about me that you can’t even enjoy anything. We’re in California! Live a little.”

  Bish shook his head.

  They’ve got her so in deep with whatever this is that she can’t even see it anymore. Maybe I can take her one night. Take the Jeep and get away from them, from everyone, for a while.

  “No,” Caleb and I both protested at the same time and Caleb pulled me to him as we read Bish.

  Crap. There would be no way to cover that up. Crap. Crap.

  Bish eyed us both. He shook his head and backed away.

  I’m going crazy.

  He went upstairs to his room and slammed the door.

  I wanted to go after him and tell him everything. I was seconds away from following him. I’d had enough of watching him suffer and fight for me.

  Caleb turned me to him and pressed my face into his neck with a hand in my hair.

  “It’s ok. We’ll...I’ll tell my father. Maybe we can...I don’t know. I don’t want to lie to you and tell you it’ll work out when it might not, but I can’t stand to see you upset either.”

  I pulled back to see his face.

  “I’m not worth all this trouble.”

  “Yes you are,” he said hotly. “Don’t ever say that. Bish wouldn’t care so much if you weren’t.”

  “But I’m-”

  I was about to say I had caused Caleb and his family a lot of grief too but he cut me off.

  “Are you serious? After everything we’ve been through are we back to this? Do you really not know how I feel about you by now?”

  I sighed as he put his hand on my cheek.

  “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

  “You apologize a lot lately,” he said through a small smile.

  “I’m an idiot a lot lately.”

  “No, you’re not. You’re just a silly girl,” he said and then laughed when I poked him in the stomach. “Ow.”

  “I just feel so bad about Bish. I wish...” I said and heard the tears threatening.

  “I know.”

  He pulled my face up with his hand cupping my cheek and kissed me on my trembling mouth. He smoothed his hands down my arms, my back, my hair, my cheek, soothing me.

  “There’s a picture of you two in the dictionary under ‘get a room’,” Kyle said from behind me.

  I’d been so fo
cused on Caleb’s hands I hadn’t heard him come in. We pulled apart and I licked my lips. Caleb smirked and then turned to Kyle, expecting a fight but Kyle was smiling.

  “How about we take Maggie and Bish to that sub place on Bradshaw for lunch? I’ve been dying for a Philly.”

  “Sure,” Caleb said, unsure. “If Bish wants to go, he’s not really happy with us right now.”

  “Because why?”

  “Because,” I explained. “He knows something is going on and I can’t tell him. He knows I’m lying and I’ve never lied to him before.”

  He smiled in sympathy and came to put an arm around my shoulder. Caleb cocked his head at him.

  “Sorry. I know it sucks but things are different now, right? You can’t just blab to him about everything anymore. You’re doing what’s best for him, he just doesn’t know it. He’ll get over it eventually.”

  Caleb and I both stared at him. What was up with Kyle?

  “What?” he said in his defense of our stares.

  “Thanks, Kyle. I just wish I could tell him but not tell him. Ya know?”

  “Yeah, I know. Alright, I’m going to go see if Bish wants to annihilate aliens with me.”

  “Ok.”

  He left and I was just as stunned as Caleb but let it go. I pulled Caleb with me to the back porch. I laid down on the big soft white cushions of the porch swing and pulled him down with me. I remembered this from the plane. Caleb had shown me a vision of him pressing me into these cushions while he kissed me wickedly. I was ready for some more of our visions to start coming true.

  “I agree,” he said to answer my thoughts and kissed me softly as we laid, side by side in the breeze and shade.

  Sometimes we barely pecked or brushed our lips and then other times he’d push and pull me and I could barely breathe under the assault of his lips. After a few minutes I could hear Bish and Kyle in the den playing their video game and it made me glad that Bish was at least out of his room. We stayed out there until it was time for lunch.

  At the restaurant Kyle and Caleb took us to, Bish didn’t speak. He just watched us, watched other people. His thoughts were exactly what I expected, Bish wondering what was going on for real. He was mad at Dad for being naïve. He was mad at Caleb for feeling the need to touch me every ten seconds. Mad at me for lying to him.

  I just avoided his gaze and tried to tune him out.

  ~ Seven ~

  We did a little shopping before going home. Kyle wanted to buy a new game controller and some more swim trunks. We went to this really huge two story surf shop. In Bish’s mind I could see he wanted a new pair of shorts. His were some he snagged from Dad before he boarded the plane and he hated them. He also hated not having any money either. He eyed a few pairs and then went to stand by the door and wait for us to get done.

  He was thinking about needing to get back to Tennessee to set up job interviews.

  I felt sorry for him as I followed Caleb around the store. He felt me, heard me reading Bish through me. He turned, grabbed a pair of shorts that he’d seen in my mind and put them over his arm. He winked as I started to protest and grabbed my hand, towing me to the t-shirt section.

  “I think it’s time you got your very own first t-shirt. You can start collecting them at all the places I’m going to take you.”

  He started pushing and browsing through them, pulling one out and then putting it back.

  “All the places?”

  “Yes.” He smiled and moved his face inches from mine. “I’m gonna take you everywhere. Anywhere you wanna go.” He kissed the end of my nose. “Now, how about this one?”

  He held up a yellow t-shirt that said ‘I Break for Tanned Surfers’. I laughed and shook my head as a ‘no’. He shrugged and put it away, looking for another. After many other funny shirts passed our eyes Caleb - understanding I wasn’t a funny shirt kind of gal - decided on a blue shirt with one lone wave on the front. It suited me. We checked out and left the store. We walked down the sidewalk to the Jeep but Caleb stopped suddenly.

  “You go ahead and take this stuff to the Jeep. I’ll be right there,” he said and he was thinking about surfing so I assumed he was going back to the surf shop, he must’ve forgot something.

  “Ok,” I agreed.

  Bish, Kyle and I made our way to the Jeep and I cranked the ignition, blasting the cold air against the blazing June heat. Bish and Kyle in the back were looking and talking about the game Kyle bought.

  “Mags, this is the game I was telling you about. Now you can play with us. I promise I won’t shoot you on sight this time,” Kyle said and grinned.

  “Sounds good, I’ve never been very good at those things. Remember, Bish, your first Christmas with us they bought us a PlayStation? I don’t think I ever won a single game we played.”

  “I remember,” Bish said with a chuckle and I saw in his mind a memory of us sitting on the living room floor together playing. “You were pretty terrible.”

  “You didn’t teach me much back then,” I countered.

  “You were too busy with Beck. She was over everyday and pulled you away to play dress-up.”

  “Actually, she pulled me away to talk about you. She said you were dreamy,” I sang in a sing song tone to irritate him.

  He scoffed and turned to look out the window as Kyle and I laughed.

  “She did not. You’re just saying that to piss me off.”

  “She did. She was practically in love with you. She used to write your name with little hearts beside it and Mrs. Rebecca Masters,” I said grinning.

  “You’re lying,” he said like he really didn’t believe it.

  No frigging way.

  “Nope, of course, that was when we were in six grade. By high school, you were just a phase,” I said flippantly.

  “Well...good,” he said uncomfortably.

  “Dude,” Kyle said with a look. “Beck’s hot. I’d go for that if I were you.”

  “I’m like seven years older than her. It’s not cool.”

  “You’re too late anyway,” I said. “She’s with Ralph now.”

  “Great. No concern of mine,” Bish brushed off and nodded toward my window. “Good. Caleb’s back.”

  “Hey,” Caleb said as he got in his seat. “Sorry it took so long.”

  He was thinking about Math. Prime numbers, multiples by four, math problems, over and over. I looked at him curiously but didn’t say anything.

  We pulled into the driveway and got out. Bish and Kyle ran in together to start the game. I thought what an unlikely friendship that was. Bish was older and Kyle was pretty immature. It didn’t seem like a good match-up but there was no one else so, maybe they were just making do.

  As I closed the door I heard Caleb’s mind still running through subtraction. I gave him a weird look and then remembered that he hadn’t come back to the Jeep with a package. What had he been doing? Then it hit me. He was using math to keep his head busy so he wouldn’t think about something. There was something he didn’t want me to see.

  “Dang it, Maggie,” he whined. “You couldn’t let me have my little secret? You are going to be impossible to buy presents for.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I-” he started but the doorbell rang.

  He went to answer it and I heard Peter’s thoughts of happiness about seeing Caleb before I saw him turn the foyer corner to the living room where I was. And then Rachel, then my dad, then Jen...then Bella, Caleb’s Sheepdog, all walked in right behind him.

  I gasped in happiness and dread both. What were they all doing here? Then I blushed in shame. They’d been worried about me running away? This seemed a little extreme.

  Caleb petted and crooned to Bella for just a second as he ushered her to the backyard. He was anxious to be with me when we started all this. And it didn’t take long.

  Peter made his way to me.

  “Magnificent.”

  I knew what he was going to do but I couldn’t muster up the gall to tell him no, tho
ugh I wanted to. I didn’t want to be disrespectful as he kissed my fingers and then touched my hand to his head.

  Then to my horror, Rachel did the same thing. I cringed and tried not to pull away but when Jen made her way to me I could no longer take it.

  “I-”

  “Maggie doesn’t want you to do that,” Caleb explained softly and came to stand in front of me like a guard. “Remember, Dad, on the phone we talked about this. Maggie wants none of the bowing or protocol, she wants to just be herself.”

  “I’m sorry, my dear, but you have to understand that this has been foretold since I was a child. It’s just such an honor...”

  “I know. And I’m not trying to muck up tradition or be disrespectful but I can’t have everyone bowing to me every time they see me. I’m still the same old me. Treat me like the same old me. Please?”

  He nodded and smiled slightly.

  “Whatever you wish, my dear.”

  “Dad,” Caleb protested for me.

  “I meant that as Maggie’s wish, not a Visionary’s wish,” he clarified. “Whatever makes Maggie happy.”

  I nodded in gratitude.

  Caleb went to hug his mom and I made my way to my dad. He was holding himself in check but wanted to grab me the second he saw me. As soon as I got close enough, he pulled me roughly to him.

  “Ah, baby girl. I’ve missed you something fierce.”

  “Me, too, Dad.”

  I realized it was true. Then he looked at me and cocked his head. He put a hand up to rub the ends of my hair.

  “Peter told me what happened with your hair. It’s looks really great this way though.”

  “Thanks.”

  Did Peter really bow to you? I nodded. Is that normal?

  “Apparently.”

  I hope you’re behaving…

  He looked at me expectantly with a perfectly arched questioning brown eyebrow.

  “Yes, Dad, of course,” I obliged.

  He smiled and nodded his head to Caleb in hello, then looked around.

  “Where’s Bish?”

  “Playing a video game with Kyle.”