Revolution Page 19

  This was stupid. It was just a camera; there was no reason for me to be so crazy about it. Then I felt his hands on my shoulders. I leaned my head back to look at my Merrick. He smiled. He was beautiful even upside down. I smiled, too, and steeled myself that this was what I needed to do.

  The little red light came on and Chesser pointed his finger at me in a You're On motion. I cleared my throat delicately and started the best way that I knew how.

  "I know you don't know me…and I don't know you, but we share something in common; this planet. Or at least we did. Now we all share it with beings that don't belong here, and have tricked you all into thinking that they want to help you. The moon disappearing was the first sign. The weather being all messed up, the cell and television service going haywire, the animals…it's because of them. Think real hard and remember what it was like when they first started showing up. Remember our friends and family dying. Remember the way everything in our world is worse, not better, because of them. I've met these beings and their leader, who is no longer alive. They want you to believe these lies so they can keep controlling you. Just think for yourselves. These things can't be killed the usual way, you have to stake them with something all the way through. They are not human. Things are going to get bad and then worse, but we're here. There are so many of us out there who are waiting for you to join us. We'll fight side by side and take them all out. They call us rebels? We call ourselves human. We are the revolution. Join us and take back what was yours in the first place."

  I stopped talking and waited. Merrick's hands rubbed a small caress on my neck and shoulders. I finally looked up. Chesser was nodding. "That was…good."

  "Really?" I said softly, fear rearing its ugly head.

  "Really." He pulled the tape out of the recorder and handed it to me. "You keep it, just in case. But we'll meet you at the radio station tomorrow night and get that baby loaded up and ready to go." He took a deep breath. "I can't believe we're doing this. I've thought about it for so long." He looked me straight in the eye before looking around and doing the same to everyone else. "You know what this means right? This will be war. There will be panic, there will be riots and fights and …we'll have to be ready to fight at any opportunity."

  "I'm ready," I said and gripped Merrick's hand on my shoulder. "We're all ready."

  Once back 'home', we ate some supper and went to bed. I lay next to Merrick, but once again I felt restless and uneasy, like I needed something. I turned a little to see Merrick and he was awake, too. I pulled his hands and towed him to Lily's tent. We lay down on either side of her and she sighed as if her world was complete.

  If only that were true.

  Merrick rubbed my cheek with his thumb and looked at me over Lily's head. "You did good tonight."

  I decided to be honest. "I'm scared to death."

  "I know."

  "I'm scared that…"

  "I know," he sighed. "I'm scared that I can't protect you like I want to."

  "I'll be fine with you right there with me."

  "I want you here with Lily, not with me. If things go badly tomorrow… What if there's an ambush? What if the transmission doesn't work? What if we get caught and never stood a chance?"

  "Then we'll be together and I'll know I was with the love of my life at the end."

  I felt my eyes water just as Lily stirred. She looked pleased that we were with her. "Hey, Mommy."

  "Hey, baby," I said and sniffled. "Go back to sleep."

  "I can't. What's dat song you sang to me about the angels? The one about Daddy."

  I smiled at Merrick over her head and sang in a whisper, because that was all that my crying would allow.

  Sleepyhead, close your eyes, I am right here beside you.

  I'll protect you from harm. You will always be in my arms.

  Guardian angels are near, so sleep on with no fear.

  Guardian angels are near, so sleep on with no fear.

  I looked at her sweet face, her eyes closed, her little world so simple and small. I hoped this wasn't the last time that I got to hold her, but it might be. I needed her to remember us this way. All three of us, together, loving each other, peaceful and happy.

  Merrick's thumb rubbed my cheek once more, robbing my attention. "I love you, baby," his said, a slight crack at the end that I tried not to notice.

  "I love you, too," I whispered.

  "You're the strongest woman I know. And the most determined." He nodded as if trying to convince himself. "I'll keep you safe. We'll be all right."

  I nodded, too. "We have to be."

  I kissed Lily's hair and fell asleep with the feel of Merrick's thumb sweeping my cheek. Strangely, Merrick being scared made me feel better, not worse. It meant that he was being real with me.

  Things were about to take a turn, either for their side or ours.

  Deep In My Bones

  Chapter 26

  Ryan

  The human book was titled Last of the Mohicans. I had swiped it before we left the bunker and had begun to read it slowly at night when everyone else slept and my mind refused to shut off. It opened with a quote from Shakespeare, who I'd heard of, but not read.

  "Mine ear is opened, and my heart prepared

  The worst is worldly loss thou canst unfold

  Say, is my kingdom lost?"

  My kingdom lost… That thought hung in the air as I pondered what I'd read so far of the book. It was all war and sacrifice and hardship, wills taken and given. It honestly wasn't making me feel better to read about these things.

  I had just closed the book in my lap when Ellie came out of the back around the corner. She rubbed her eyes and then her hair in a frazzled manner. It was adorable and cute and…sexy. Man, it was sexy. She hadn't even noticed me yet, but when she did, she grinned in a way that let me know she was truly happy to see me.

  "What are you doing up?" she asked, her voice husky from sleep.

  Unlike every other couple in the bunker, we weren't sleeping together, in any way. She had her tent, I had mine. I had yet to sleep with someone lying on me or next to me. In truth, the way my human body flounced around at night, I couldn't imagine it being a nice experience.

  "I have problems going to sleep," I told her and tossed the book aside. "What are you doing awake?"

  "After everything that happened today…and everything that's going to happen tomorrow…"

  I nodded. She didn't need to explain more. "Yeah," I agreed. "Are you all right?"

  "I'm ok," she assured, swaying back and forth as she stood. It was like a subconscious act for her. Her bottom lip started to tremble a little.

  "Really?" I asked incredulously. "Ellie?"

  "I'm fine," she said again and pulled her hair back with her hands. "I just hope that I can help in some way. That my ability doesn't fail or…hurt anyone."

  "Your ability is amazing, Ellie, don't doubt yourself." She just watched the floor. "Come here."

  She wasted no time in coming and crawling into my lap. She faced me, her legs on either side of me as I sat on that hard concrete floor. I held her face gently and tried to get her to see her as I saw her. It must've been all right for me to touch her that way because she looked at me as if she had a million questions and I possessed all the answers.

  "You have this gift that was given to you for a reason, Ellie. It'll work because that's what you were made to do."

  She took a deep breath. "Ok."

  "Do you want to…" I felt too bold. I needed to start trusting my own responses to things. I steeled myself and smiled a little. "Do you want to come lie down me?"

  She nodded and looked relieved. "I don't want to be by myself."

  "You don't ever have to be," I said softly and took my boldness one step further.

  I moved forward to kiss the corner of the mouth. She corrected my course, as if it had been a mistake that I missed, and kissed me again right where I wanted her. It was sweet and a little desperate. This girl needed me tonight. We had no idea what the
rest of our days were going to look like.

  I helped us up and then took her to my tent. She snuggled right up against me, trusting, eager, willing. A small part of me that I had yet to explore of my human self felt a little smug. I smiled in the dark as I stared at the black ceiling. To feel chosen felt amazing. I had no idea what she saw in me, but for the first time, I was really happy that she did.

  "Dude, Ryan!" I heard someone hiss and turned my head to find Calvin holding the flap of my tent open. He hissed again in an overly loud whisper. "You bagged Ellie! Finally!"

  "Get out of here!" I whispered back. "And I didn't bag anyone…whatever that means."

  "If you don't even know what it means, then how do you know you didn't do it?" he asked, his eyebrows jumping in suggestive manner.

  "Calvin-" I started, but then Frank poked his head in as well.

  "Shyeah!" he said excitedly. "Way to go, Ryan, my man."

  "Get out, the both of you, before I jerk a knot in your behinds!"

  "You don't even know what that means, do you?" Calvin taunted.

  I jerked up and made like I was going to get up. They both took off like little cowards, hooting and carrying on as they ran. I groaned a little and then heard and felt Ellie's giggle. I looked down at her face on my shoulder and felt my breath stop. I'd heard it so many times over my many, many years; that expression men said to a woman about being beautiful in the morning. It was absolutely true.

  "What are you laughing at, beautiful?" I heard myself say and my eyes went a little wide.

  She smiled brightly. "You, defending my honor."

  "It didn't need defending," I reminded her. "I was a gentleman."

  "True, but they didn't know that." She was still smiling.

  "So…tell me something about you." Her smile faltered. "You don't have to. I just wanted to know about you, your family, your life before all this."

  Her eyes moved to my neck and stayed there. "I was a teacher. I was engaged. I had a big family. All of that was taken from me the day they showed up." I felt myself frown. "We were headed towards my engagement party. I was running late because I'd forgotten the wine that I knew my mom liked. She was a sweet lady, but she was a picky lady." She smiled, though her eyes began to fill. "One of those things was in the road and my family swerved to miss it. They all died…all at once. Except me. I've been alone ever since."

  "Where's your Keeper?"

  She gulped. "Never came," she whispered. "When I got here and heard all of your stories about the Specials and Keepers and about how you all came to save them, it made me wonder why my own Keeper never came for me. I thought maybe it was because he couldn't sense me, so he couldn't find me."

  "No," I told her. "He or she watched you. He would have known where you were."

  "Then why?" she said and I could see that this truly upset her.

  "There's nothing that can keep a Keeper from their charge. Something must have happened to him on the way to you. An accident. He didn't abandon you, I promise."

  She nodded. "That's good. I thought I was defective or something."

  "You are anything but defective," I told her and kissed her forehead. It was getting easier by the minute to touch her and not feel like I was making her suffer some violation.

  "Thank you," she said, "for letting me stay in here last night. I was a little unhinged."

  "You're welcome," I whispered.

  "I usually read before bed, to unwind, but last night it just wasn't working."

  "I was reading last night, too," I told her.

  She blinked in surprise. "You were?"

  "Yeah. I …borrowed a copy of Last of the Mohicans from Mrs. Trudy's collection."

  "Last of the Mohicans!" she laughed. "Well, that's a cheery little novel. No wonder you couldn’t sleep."

  "What do you read?"

  She grinned. "Stay right here." She got up swiftly and made a quick escape from my tent. When she returned, she was carrying a small book that was beaten and bruised. She smiled. "I borrowed a book from Mrs. Trudy, too." She showed me the cover. E.E. Cummings.

  "What's it about?"

  She sat by me and opened the book to a piece of receipt paper she was using as a bookmark. She flipped the pages and then turned to me. She moved my knee over so she could scoot between my legs and nestled into my chest with her back. She pointed with her finger as she read the lines.

  I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart)

  I am never without it

  (anywhere I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done

  by only me is your doing, my darling)

  I fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet ) I want no world

  (for beautiful you are my world, my true)

  and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant

  and whatever a sun will always sing is you

  here is the deepest secret nobody knows

  (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

  and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows

  higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)

  and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

  I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)

  I was…stunned. "What was that?"

  "It's E.E. Cummings. Poetry," she said softly and turned to me a little. My rough chin touched her cheek. She didn't seem bothered. "I like to read things that give me hope of one day being normal again."

  I rubbed her arms with my hands. "Will you read me another one?"

  She smiled up at me in her profile. "Of course."

  i like my body when it is with your body.

  It is so quite new a thing.

  Muscles better and nerves more.

  i like your body. i like what it does,

  i like its hows. i like to feel the spine

  of your body and its bones, and the trembling

  -firm-smoothness and which i will

  again and again and again

  kiss, i like kissing this and that of you,

  i like, slowly stroking the, shocking fuzz

  of your electric fur, and what-is-it comes

  over parting flesh ... And eyes big love-crumbs,

  and possibly i like the thrill

  of under me you so quite new.

  Her breath hitched a little at the end and she wouldn't turn to look at me. I had no words… It was beautiful and sexual and described exactly the confusion and awe I felt for Ellie. I let my hands float down her arms once more, skimming and teasing. She shivered and pressed herself further into me.

  "I didn't read that on purpose," she promised. "I just picked one."

  "That was a good one," I told her. "It was perfect. Thank you." I wrapped my arms around her and kissed the side of her neck. She made a little noise of appreciation that had me pausing. It was a beautiful sound. "Can you read more?"

  "You like poetry?"

  "I'm not sure, but I like when you read it to me."

  There were a few precious hours until we had to meet Chesser back at the broadcast station. If leaning my back against the wall with Ellie in my lap was my punishment for the day, I would take it with a smile.

  We sat there, just like that, all day. She read to me and I listened and tuned out the sounds of the bunker, all except her smooth voice. When the book was done, she didn't leave me, however. I moved down a little and we napped.

  It was a perfectly normal and human thing to do.

  Later when they came and got us to tell us it was time to go, I mourned my missed time with her. If we came out of all this alive, I planned to never take that time for granted again.

  Things Are About To Get Real

  Chapter 26

  Sherry

  In the time it took to make our way to the elevator and up to the roof, I'd fought down vomit three times. This was it. They didn't know it, but the whole state, and if I wanted to give my ego a little notch up, the world, was counting on us to make tonight happen without a
hitch.

  Jeff had finally stepped back into his leadership role. We knew it was an adjustment to find out you're becoming a father, so he deserved a little slack. But I was glad to have him back. His rally the troops speeches were epic. And this one was no different. Everyone understood the significance of tonight.

  Pastor's prayer this time had been short and sweet. "Lord, help us today as some of us head out into the lion's den." He had glanced at Rylee and looked sad. "We know that we need this. The end result is what matters now. Keep them safe, God. Keep them light footed and nimble handed."

  And everyone seemed extra lovey with each other. Ryan and Ellie hadn't said anything, but were doing this little half snuggle thing. Jeff and Marissa couldn't keep their hands off each other. Rylee and Miguel stood close, not touching, but their glowers carried enough heat to light a birthday cake. Poor Billings was all alone.

  I held Merrick's hand tightly and tried not to think about my goodbye with Lily. Lana had finally taken her to the back room, Bones trailing behind and looking up at her with worried eyes, but she usually never cried when we left.

  Tonight, she cried.

  And Lillian. She had been so eager for us to come home last night, certain we'd found Cain. She was becoming less and less faithful to Marissa's vision. When we had come in late, the bunker was as spotless as it could be. She had made everyone's…pallets. All the crates were stacked neatly against the walls. She said she just needed something to do. She also said that if Daniel hadn't found Cain by the next night, she was going after him herself. There was no point in arguing about it with her. I would have done the same thing. At least she was trying to be productive.

  All that didn't set a good mood or tone for the trip for me. But we pressed on and as I climbed the ladder down, I thought about the events that were about to take place. Last night, everyone had been quiet and reflective.